[kiwi_2005]

THE BETA TESTER USER.
This person isn't really a Beta tester, but somehow beta-release software always ends up on there machine. And not surprisingly, they're much better at installing it than thinking about what damaged its likely to cause. At first they're get you to troubleshoot some unrelated app which has mysteriously stopped working, and after a couple of hours of fruitless searching, will mention casually they're installed some Alpha build of a service pack which overwrites everything it touches and breaks all the competition applications. As frustrating as this type of user is, the last laugh is with you. Explain that the software is unsupported, that you can't simply uninstall it, and that it will need reimaging. Then keep the machine several days while you use it as a convenient rest for your coffee mug.

THE BLAME SHIFTER USER.
Whether this user's problem is minor, major or congenital, its not there fault. They did everything properly and they're completely competent with every aspect of computing so it clearly must be your fault. Or the server's fault. Or the networks fault. Or the little green men. Something like that. Stay calm. These are the type of users who move all the DLLs they can find into the same folder in the interests of "housekeeping". Try not to point out that they have the technical capacity of a crumpled sheet of A4 (because they're the first ones to lodge complaints - claiming that you "were unhelpful" in managing their "reasonable and bona fide request"). Go figure.

THE BLISSFULLY IGNORANT USER.
These ppl dont know whats wrong with there computer, but that's OK because they dont know what the computer actually does anyway. Neither do they wish to know. Luckily, these users are quite cheerful and dont cause problems. Don't try to explain anything to them - Just fix the problem and talk about the weather or something.

THE MAC ZEALOT USER.
Regardless of what is specifically wrong with the machine, it's ultimately because it's not a Mac . If it was a Mac there wouldn't be a problem - you do know that dont you? Everyone knows Macs are superior and much more stable than Windows and anyone who's anyone uses a Mac and you're so short-sighted not to be using them everywhere... Just nod and keep silent. Dont point out that Mac's market share is less than 4%-as, like any true zealot-they're not really listening to you. The voices are talking louder anyway.

THE RIGHT SAID FRED USER. [Im To Sexy For My Computer].
This person breezes in with a "Hi guys, my computer's not working again, can you fix it, thanks so much!" And woosh-they're gone. Try to pin them down on anything and you get "Well i dont know, it was all fine before, can't you just fix it?". This user neither knows nor cares whats wrong, because caring about technical things is, like, just so geeky, you know? Not surprisingly, these are also the users who wont speak to you in a social situation, but when somethings wrong it's "Oh, but you're all so clever!!"

THE SUPPOSED PROFESSIONAL USER.
This person has worked with computers since before you were even born; knows simply everything there is to know about them; is quite sure that their computer is running slow than the person next to them; there has to be a memory leak in Word somewhere etc. They've run this application before which proves the registry is fragmented and what kind of shop are you guys running here anyhow..? And so it goes.

THE OPEN SOURCE ADDICT USER.
This person will regale you with tales of the time they had exactly the same problem with Debian Linux and they spent five hours browsing the newsgroups before finding the section of the kernel to change and after a full recompile it was fixed! Except for that other problem which has now cropped up...Nod and agree with everything and stay safely behind your desk.

THE BOSS USER.
One rule here - no matter what type of user your boss is, just say "Yes, we can fix that, no not your fault at all, yes laptops should work wirelessly with the wireless turned off, such an oversight by the manufacture, yes we'll call their helpdesk and ask for an explanation..." You dont have to tell the boss that they're right. Just dont tell them they're wrong. Everything is feasible and no project ever resembles a black hole into which you will put your time, energy and youthful years.

[kiwi_2005]

Ok i'll break the ice, i would probably be a bit of the Beta tester and the Mac Zealot, yet change it to Linux Zealot.

[jumpy]

[Neal Stevens]

I'm THE BLISSFULLY IGNORANT USER.

Dargo can vouch for that

[SUBMAN1]

Oh my gosh! you described my life!!! Ahhhh! I must have a clone out their that wrote this!

-S

[Takeda Shingen]

I would be the BLAME SHIFTER USER. It is never my fault. Never.